| Like most parents, we welcomed our first new | | | | the same time, he was put under Auditory |
| born with great excitement and anticipation. We | | | | Integrated Therapy (AIT). He listened to Mozart |
| did the usual things parents-to-be do - getting | | | | with filtered tune that was supposedly to |
| ready a nursery with decorations, furniture, toys | | | | stimulate brain function differently from regular |
| and clothing. We read books and went to classes | | | | music. Later on he had music therapy to inspire |
| on how to raise the boy in his first year. Little did | | | | creativity. He attended 15 interactive metronome |
| we know none of this would prepare us to cope | | | | sessions to increase attention span. At the end of |
| with what lay ahead. Vincent was born in the US | | | | three months' intensive therapy, he could clap |
| full term without complications. We brought him | | | | 1,500 times nonstop and consistently. We also |
| back to Singapore when he was 10 weeks old. | | | | engaged a motor specialist to improve his |
| Our aim was to bring him up in a multi cultural and | | | | handwriting. The US law mandates public schools |
| multi lingual environment. | | | | to provide support for kids with special needs. |
| However, when he was three months' old, | | | | Vincent was integrated straight into mainstream |
| Vincent became a regular visitor to the doctor's | | | | kindergarten. |
| clinic. He was diagnosed with spleen and liver | | | | With limited language, mainstream kindergarten |
| enlargements that required weekly, monthly then | | | | was extremely challenging for Vincent. He was |
| half yearly lever function blood tests. His enzyme | | | | easily distracted and so disruptive that he had to |
| was at 800+ while the normal kid should be below | | | | be brought out of the classroom. Frequent breaks |
| 50. His enzyme level stabilized when he turned | | | | or walking the school hallways were a daily event. |
| three. | | | | We had to cross our fingers every day and pray |
| At 14 months', he got an infection from a make | | | | that he had a good school day without incidences. |
| up BCG injection. This required general | | | | With medication and consistent support, Vincent |
| anesthetization and operation to remove the | | | | learned the daily routines and began picking up |
| pustule. At two, the doctor found that Vincent | | | | language gradually. During the First Grade language |
| had a heart murmur. Thankfully, it was a benign | | | | test, he scored at 1%. This meant in a hundred |
| murmur put down to growth. At 3 , Vincent fell | | | | kids, he was the last in language proficiency. At |
| over a roadside curve which required three | | | | home we worked on cognitive skills, basic and |
| stitches above his right eye brow. At four, he had | | | | spatial concepts, attributes and functions with |
| high fever for two consecutive days and had to | | | | flash cards, and a daily follow up of the school's |
| be admitted to hospital. In between, there were | | | | teaching. We also taught him phonics, time, |
| the common flu and colds. | | | | numbers, size, money, etc. It was daunting to |
| I imagine many parents have gone through similar | | | | teach him 10 cents have more value than 5 cents |
| scenarios. But these weren't the challenges that | | | | when the 10 cents coin is smaller than 5 cents. |
| confronted our beliefs, tested our strength, and | | | | Vincent's language improved to 25% by 2nd |
| changed the course of our lives. Vincent had met | | | | Grade. He advanced it to around 50% by the end |
| all developmental milestones until we noticed he | | | | of 4th Grade, well beyond any specialist's |
| was different at a year and half. He had no | | | | expectations. |
| language. This literally meant he did not utter a | | | | Once Vincent picked up languages, he participated |
| single comprehensible word. He did not call Mum or | | | | in classroom activity with less and less assistance |
| Dad. The doctor told us not to worry as boys | | | | from the special education teacher and the |
| normally develop language skills later than girls. | | | | education aide. |
| We became really worried when he still did not | | | | Shifting focus |
| have any language at two years old. This started | | | | The focus for IEP has shifted to social interaction |
| another stream of consultation with specialists in | | | | and communication. Socially we have gone |
| ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat), neurology, | | | | through times than language learning. During |
| psychology, and psychiatry. It took us more than | | | | kindergarten, neighbor's kids called him crazy and |
| two years to search, schedule and complete the | | | | dumb. Fortunately, the name-calling was only hard |
| evaluation. Vincent's hearing was tested. The | | | | on us parents as Vincent could not understand |
| neurologist couldn't find anything unusual from the | | | | them. He was never invited to a birthday party |
| visual evaluation and referred us to a psychologist. | | | | from kindergarten to fourth grade. The school |
| The session with the psychologist was disastrous. | | | | speech therapist drafted programs for Vincent to |
| She was more than one hour late for the | | | | role-play and sat with him during lunchtime to |
| appointment. Vincent lost patience waiting and wet | | | | coach him. We read books and wrote Carol |
| his pants during the evaluation, though he had | | | | Gray's social stories to demonstrate to him the |
| been toilet trained. The psychologist prescribed | | | | broad social rules of behavior for each occasion |
| him as having a "Behavior Disorder". This brought | | | | and getting along. |
| disbelief and confusion to us. The only positive | | | | He joined social skills training at a hospital and in |
| outcome was a list of recommended schools that | | | | the summer camp. Nothing came easy to Vincent. |
| would accept kids like Vincent. | | | | Everything had to be taught. He needed - and |
| A dark shadow | | | | needs - written rules and demonstrations to guide |
| We then sought advice from a renowned | | | | him through each social occasion. It was hoped |
| psychiatrist. I still vividly remember the meeting | | | | that he would be able to apply instantly once he |
| over Vincent's diagnosis: Pervasive Developmental | | | | gained broad base foundations. All the practices |
| Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified (PDD NOS). In | | | | and coaching paid off when Vincent finally made |
| ayman's term, Vincent was severely delayed in | | | | three friends at Fifth Grade. |
| development but the doctor couldn't pinpoint the | | | | He was invited to their birthday parties. He invited |
| cause. The psychiatrist's response that Vincent | | | | them back for sleep over. He made a couple |
| might not ever be able to live an independent life | | | | more friends at Sixth Grade. He maintained two |
| cast a dark shadow over the family. | | | | of them as his buddies with whom he talked |
| In between the numerous evaluations, we | | | | during lunchtime and played with after school. He |
| managed to enroll Vincent into a private school | | | | no longer was a lone ranger or a target for bullies |
| with a special education program starting at age | | | | at school. We were fortunate that Vincent |
| three. This marked the beginning of ever lasting | | | | reacted positively to all the therapies and |
| therapeutic and learning programs for Vincent. To | | | | interventions. The developmental pediatrician was |
| augment the learning of spoken language, Vincent | | | | very pleased with Vincent's advancement. A |
| was introduced to sign language and so were the | | | | psychological evaluation showed that Vincent |
| parents. It was one of the happiest moments in | | | | continues to function in the above average to |
| life to hear Vincent call out 'Mum' and 'Dad' at the | | | | superior range of intelligence. He was no longer |
| age of three years and four months. Though his | | | | exhibiting significant discrepancy between verbal |
| language advanced from one word to two words | | | | and nonverbal abilities. The doctor changed |
| level in relative short time, the speed of learning | | | | Vincent's diagnostic to Asperger Syndrome, the |
| stalled. The speech pathologist advised that he | | | | mildest form of the ASD, at the age of nine. |
| needed to improve his gross and fine motor skills | | | | Fulfilling a dream |
| before language learning could accelerate. | | | | After many years of challenges, we started |
| At the strong recommendation of the teachers | | | | treating Vincent more like a normal kid. There are |
| and specialists, we moved back to US when | | | | set rules on TV time. He had an allowance to |
| Vincent was five. It started a new chapter of life | | | | purchase his favorite games and toys. He learned |
| for Vincent and the family. Through references, | | | | how to do laundry, use the dryer, fold clothes, |
| we were fortunate to find a developmental | | | | wash dishes and cars, sweep floors, operate the |
| pediatrician who specialized in kids like Vincent. She | | | | vacuum cleaner, and change light bulbs, etc. |
| did a thorough evaluation of Vincent and | | | | Recently, he started preparing his own breakfast, |
| diagnosed him as a kid with Autism Spectrum | | | | cooking instant noodles, frying eggs and using a |
| Disorder (ASD). Autism is a lifelong developmental | | | | knife. |
| disability that typically appears in early childhood. | | | | He needs these skills when he goes to college. We |
| Vincent was literal with minimal imagination and | | | | expect him to behave appropriately in public and |
| common sense, and was inflexible to change. He | | | | at gatherings. He said he was responsible for his |
| had no eye contact, could not read social cues, | | | | schoolwork so we stopped checking his |
| had Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder | | | | homework or reviewing with him before tests. His |
| (ADHD) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder | | | | duty as a student is to perform well academically |
| (OCD), showed severe delay in communication, | | | | and maintain his honor roll. He continues reading |
| and had gross motor and sensory dysfunction. | | | | voraciously, especially science and nonfiction |
| He exhibited symptoms of a typical autistic kid, | | | | books. As he is not athletically inclined, he has |
| except he was not hiding in a corner. On the | | | | chosen fencing as his only form of sport. |
| contrary, he was very sociable. We started a | | | | For many years without changing, his goal is to |
| series of therapies with Vincent. He attended | | | | become a Zoo Veterinarian. He is on track to |
| private speech and occupational therapy for a | | | | fulfilling his dream. After difficult processes of |
| year until the school could effectively address his | | | | denial, blame, frustration, anger, acceptance and |
| needs. He also took herapeutic horseback riding | | | | resolution, we have come to terms with his |
| once a week and swimming twice a week. | | | | diagnosis. While we search for treatments that |
| Horseback riding helped calm him down and | | | | best suit him, we accept, most of the time, who |
| regulate his brain while swimming improved gross | | | | he is and what he will become. We have vowed |
| motor skills. He did both activities for more than | | | | to provide him whatever normal kids enjoy and |
| five years. | | | | we expect him to perform no less than other |
| Seeking the aid of Mozart | | | | kids' of his calibre. We understand there are more |
| During these five years, we performed Patricia | | | | challenges ahead of him and us but we are |
| Wilbarger brushing at two-hour intervals to reduce | | | | confident he will lead a happy and independent life. |
| sensory dysfunction, even when we were out. At | | | | |