When the Burden For Care Becomes Overwhelming

When my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer'smanaging his care. My mother did not leave the
disease, my mother seemed to convenientlyhouse and started becoming depressed. The
choose not to deal with it. Don't get me wrong,whole situation at times became overwhelming.
she and my father lived in their own home whenKnowing something had to be done, after a little
he was diagnosed. She decided that she did notwhile I managed to talk my mother into in-home
and would not place him in a nursing facility. Butcare services. I gave her a gift certificate for
she also refuse to accept the fact that he had ain-home care for twice a week just to try. At
disease. She was in denial. So dealing with herfirst, she rebelled, but finally she took advantage
issues was much harder than dealing with myof it. I took her out to lunch and shopping. This
fathers illness. Not only did her being in denial addgave her a much needed break, she was able to
more stress to the whole situation, she felt thatget out more often and maintain ties with her
she should handle the whole thing on her ownfriends. The caregiver also provided socialization,
without outside help, placing a lot of the burden onand my mother looked forward to her visits. She
us. She did not want strangers coming into hermade a new friend. It also allowed our family to
home to help her with the care of her husband.get back on track with our own lives, jobs and
Since they were my parents, and raised and tookchildren. It allowed us to spend more enjoyable,
great care of me, I knew that I had to help herquality times with my father through this very
and my father. So, your own life, and needs gostressful period in all of our lives. My father used
on hold. Just trying to figure out what to do andto say when life became stressful, "This too shall
how to do it as far as care was concerned waspass". And, yes it did pass. We made it through
overwhelming. Also making sure that they wereand became stronger and closer as a family.
both safe was a major concern. My father wasWhen you are faced with any situation, taking
quickly losing mobility. My mother could not lift himcontrol and starting with baby steps will lead you
or move him. So it was up to us. Knowing thatto resolve any issues that may arise. Through my
the state of his health was important, and soon itown personal experience I learned that
would be hard to get him to go to the doctor, Isometimes families just need a plan. They need
knew that I needed to find a physician that madeto be supported and guided. I truly feel for the
house calls. That was the best decision I everfamilies that are going through the same thing our
made. First, now there was a person available tofamily did.
us for any medical needs or in case ofI understand what families can go through on a
emergency. Secondly, it made my mother slowlydaily basis. You feel extremely lost and do not
realize and understand Alzheimer's Disease and itsknow who you can depend on or who you can
progression. It allowed her to let people in herturn to. But, knowing what to do in a situation is
home. The doctor ordered a hospital bed for mythe most important thing. Knowing the decision to
father, which made things so much easier. He alsomake and when to start making them is vital.
ordered a nurse to come in to ensure he wasKnowing that not everyone needs to be placed in
doing okay. Any blood tests or ultra-sounds werea nursing facility is also important. When you pull all
done right in home. He was starting to receivethe right resources together, aging adults can
better care than if my mother would have placedremain in the comfort of their home. My father
him in a nursing facility.did remain in his own home until he passed away.
He was on his way now, even in this situationI made sure that he received the best possible
living a better quality of life. This also alleviated aquality of care. That was his wish. That was my
lot of our worries as far as the condition he wasgoal, to make sure his wish was fulfilled.
in at all times. But still, our lives were on hold