| p>Olympic athletes know how to be successful, | | | | yourself with positive people. |
| and success transfers. Once you have figured out | | | | And, of course, you need to lead the way with |
| the success formula in one arena of life, you can | | | | your own positivity. |
| often apply it elsewhere. | | | | Success Tool #3: Olympic athletes don't try to do |
| Here are three tools that Olympians use to win, | | | | it all on their own. |
| that you can apply to your own marriage / | | | | Winning athletes get the help of others - coaches, |
| relationship. | | | | teachers, consultants, trainers, and sports |
| Success Tool #1: Olympic athletes expect to win. | | | | psychologists. |
| It sounds so obvious, but how do you feel about | | | | Perhaps your family or the society your grew up |
| your relationship? Do you expect to have your | | | | in valued independence over collaboration, and you |
| relationship be highly successful, or do you not | | | | were raised to value "doing it all by yourself." In |
| carry any expectation of success with you | | | | fact, in school when you worked with your friend |
| moment-to-moment? Or, even worse, do you | | | | in class to get the answer it was called "cheating." |
| place more attention on your concern that your | | | | But in most of what you do, you will only succeed |
| relationship might fail than on it succeeding? | | | | with the help and the collaboration of others. Many |
| Because, whatever you expect, you are most | | | | people think that they are lacking in some way if |
| likely to be correct. You've heard the expression, | | | | they use the expertise of others, but it's just the |
| "Be careful what you wish for." I've tweaked that | | | | other way around. It's the winners who know |
| a bit to: " Be careful what you expect." | | | | enough to reach out to experts and learn from |
| Success Tool #2: Olympic athletes are constantly | | | | them. |
| training, in a positive environment. | | | | Ah, but notice, I said: "Experts!" It doesn't matter |
| A winning athlete doesn't stop learning or | | | | if you pay for your advice or not. It doesn't |
| improving. S/he's constantly practicing. | | | | matter if it's a formal teaching/consulting session |
| Moreover, s/he practices in a fully supportive, | | | | or an informal conversation. What does matter is |
| positive environment. No "Negative Nellies" around | | | | that the person you listen to is an expert in the |
| to give her doubt about her success. | | | | appropriate field. Your internal medicine doctor is |
| The same works for you and your relationship | | | | an excellent source of information about your |
| If you want to save or simply improve your | | | | medical issues, but when you need help with your |
| relationship, the last thing you need is a "best | | | | relationship, turn to a relationship expert - one |
| friend" - or anyone - to be telling you everything | | | | who has a proven record of success with his or |
| bad that's possible. You need to stay focused on | | | | her clients. |
| the positive. | | | | In summary, you can be as successful at your |
| The best way not to be tainted by negativity is | | | | relationship experience if you employ the exact |
| to not be around it. As difficult as it may seem, | | | | same success tools that great Olympic athletes |
| be supportive of yourself by eliminating negative | | | | use to have a successful Olympic experience. 1. |
| people from your life - even your "close friends." | | | | Expect to Win. 2. Allow only positive people in |
| If you need to, pretend that anyone who's | | | | your life. And 3. Stop trying to go it alone. It's the |
| negative in your life is on a year sabbatical in | | | | strongest people who know when to ask for help, |
| Tanzania. Don't feel bad; you can call them back | | | | and it's the smartest people who know who to |
| next year (if you'll still want to). Instead surround | | | | ask for help. |